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LEARNING TO LIE: HOW TO WRITE FICTION

My writing journey

12
Apr
woman-wearing-teal-blouse-7590235 tips on perfecting social distancing without scarifying psychological health

5 tips on perfecting social distancing without scarifying psychological health

Blog, Commentary, Psychological HealthJulia

 Social distancing.

Such simple words, and yet, are packed with a heavy psychological burden on us, humans.

We’re social beings, and love to be around others—family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances. Interacting and talking in close proximity with one another is the preferred method of communication. And now, with this pandemic we’re facing, chatting within inches from each other is forbidden. We are told you have to stay at least six feet away from one another to have a conversation.

This is our new normal— now. And hopefully, not for long.

We know the purpose of practicing social distancing is to slow or stop the spread of the virus. And now the authorities have tightened the rules.

Parks are closed.

Playgrounds are no longer available to public.

Everyone is requested to stay indoors. Or wear a mask if going out to buy essentials.

For a couple of weeks this restriction seemed bearable. But now, as weeks have turned into a month, we begin to feel the impact of social distancing on our psychological well-being.

Depression.

Worry. Anxiety.

Loneliness.

As if the above list isn’t obvious enough, we’ve also heard about the rise of domestic violence. People get angry and lash out on their loved ones to project their frustration of this restriction.

This is why you should turn to writers or authors and learn from them.

We’re the experts in practicing social distancing. We ain’t a writer for nothing. We’ve self-isolated ourselves to write and finish editing the manuscript we’ve been puttering around with for months or even years. Some of us have turned reclusive or into a hermit for months, years and have completely disappeared from the social media to focus on crafting our plot of our new book. We’re shut-in. Become a hikikomori – a Japanese word for a person who’s in extreme degree of confinement or isolation. 

God forbid, we aren’t that bad to a point our isolation has turned into hikikomori—that’s too extreme. Usually when we’ve finished our manuscript, we’ll put our marketing hat on. Meaning—we have to connect with readers and network with fellow authors to peddle our latest creation.

So how do authors or writers stay sane while writing in isolation?

Tip 1: Start your day with a purpose. 

It’s imperative to have a plan on how to spend your time in isolation. As an author, I write down my plan for the next day the night before. My “to do” list includes writing 5,000 words per day. Sometimes, I reach my goal, sometimes, I don’t. Doesn’t matter. I’m happy to just have a list with a purpose!

What’s your interest? Do you have a hobby that you’ve been thinking of exploring but had no time to do so because you’re working full time? Now is the time—crafting, woodworking, journaling, investing, macro photography, cooking, coin collecting and plenty other options to start yours. With this new normal, you now have plenty of chances to do it. 

Dust off your planner and write down your plan for the day, for the week. Having a structure to face your day in forced self isolation is important to prevent yourself from mopping around the house without any purpose. This will only trigger negative thinking, and you don’t want that to happen.

Tip 2: Talk to a loved one about what bothers you. 

Don’t bottle up your worries all to yourself. Share them with someone who cares. If you live alone, join an online group that interests you. Remember, craving to talk to someone face to face is just not possible right now, and this is the option you need to do. You can find plenty of groups on Facebook or other social media platforms. 

Due to my strict rule while writing, I don’t venture on social media, but I bug my husband with endless series of plots and scenes for his feedback. I peruse writing forums to seek answers to my problems about plotting deep scenes.

Tip 3: Read books that promote positive thinking. 

Watching too much news about the pandemic only worsens you—psychologically. Avoid it, if you can. When I’m writing, I don’t watch tv except for the weather. I avoid peering out of my writing world. The reality distracts me from the perfect world of my story. Sometimes, reality hits and I can’t avoid it. Like what we’re facing right now. But I try my best anyway. I buy or borrow nonfiction books I’d been dying to read and spend the entire day reading. Often, reading adds a new perspective and eases my worries away. 

My guilty pleasure is to read romance novels—my escapism to the fantasy world where the tall, dark and handsome brooding man sweeps me off my feet. This is my jam. My husband doesn’t feel threatened and leaves me alone. Which I’m immensely thankful for his understanding. Writing is hard, let alone finishing a novel. Reading rejuvenates me.  

Tip 4: Do something with your hands.

It’s a perfect time to rake clean the garden, organize your craft room, or the entire house. Do something to occupy your time while you’re stuck in your house or apartment. Or write down what’s in your mind. I like to collect pine cones. Yes, those hemlock cones are my favorite. Now, I found out the other day, when I took a walk with my husband, a new species! They’re slightly larger than a hemlock cone but so delicate like a flower. I was ecstatic! Now I’m researching this species—another way to avoid writing my next romance novel.

Tip 5: Practice gratitude. 

Donate money or time, if you can. Thinking of others who need help can stop you from getting worried, anxious or depressed in and about this unfortunate situation. If this isn’t possible, you can write what motivates you each day, what helps you to stay positive while facing this pandemic crisis and why you should be thankful. 

I can’t afford to donate financially or my time to help others either, so I do what I know best—write things I’m grateful for. I’ve this interesting planner that tracks my goals, glasses of water I drank a day, and I can spend days beautifying the pages with cute stickers and motivational quotations. My husband sees it a time waster, I don’t. It’s a form of therapy.

I know social distancing is against our nature as human beings. To an author though, it’s an opportunity to be alone and to write. But, I hope these restrictions won’t last much longer because then, we couldn’t function as our lives are so disrupted by the pandemic.

Here’s hope we can face this difficult time without neglecting our mental health. Not getting sick psychologically is as important as not getting sick physically during this challenging time. If authors can do it, so can you.

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7
May
blogimageWhat would the world be like if romance authors didn’t exist?

What would the world be like if romance authors didn’t exist?

Blog, CommentaryJulia

What would the world be like if romance authors didn’t exist?

Being a romance author is fun, challenging and downright scary for someone who has just joined this exciting adventure. The social media has exploded with the latest developments in the romance genre. The info I read is overwhelming.

I have just completed my latest novel Next Door Temptation and am focusing on promoting it. As an author, I realize how crowded this genre is. The pressure to gain the utmost visibility prompts us to market our books to the max. Not only do we battle for the top ranking, we also must be two steps ahead of those savvy marketeering authors. These authors can make marketing as easy as Sunday morning. How are they able to do that?

I’m envious and wish I could do the same. Realizing how much money they pump into their effort to be on top of the list, I can only watch. With an emaciated backlist and never enough funds, I choose to write more and publish more.

I published my first romance novel back in May of last year. And what I observed and experienced so far is this:

1. Romance authors are supportive of each other. I can see it in every group on social media and in the writing forums. We all share and promote each other’s books through group promotions and newsletter swaps. We congratulate who made five figures in book sales, we contribute our time and money to help one another—reading blurbs and buying books. We give pep talks to new writers who post their frustration over a lack of sales. We steer them to the right path with links to successful authors’ sites.

2. Romance authors band together whenever a crisis comes crashing down on the genre or when one of us is being treated unjustly. No other genre is as passionate as romance. After all, authors of romance are readers themselves. We endure tons of mockery for loving and writing this genre. Yet, the numbers of those writing romance hasn’t diminished but increased.

3. The genre is now saturated, and with so many writing romance novels, the competition has turned fierce. Competing for visibility to gain sales has prompted some of us to be selfish. This lands us in hot water because the same community who supported us at the beginning of our journey has now turned against us.

4. Selfish romance writers can’t build a long career. They heavily depend on the readers of romance. Without buyers’ support, their books wouldn’t get any attention, let alone sales.

5. Writing is a selfish job, business though, isn’t. As a writer turned business owner, we want to market our products—our books—to readers. It means we have to leave selfishness at the door when we put our business hat on and go out there to meet people—online and offline. This dual role is challenging. Most of us fail to come out from our writing shell, prompting us to make the cardinal sin in marketing—being selfish.

Imagine if all of us failed as romance authors. We’d be extinct. What would it be like if there were no romance writers? I’d assume the writing and publishing industry would be quiet and peaceful. No more controversies, no more mockeries. Everything’s going orderly. No more chaos and fierce competition. We’ll suffer in our relationships, alone and lonely without romance stories to inspire us.

And I find that to be boring and sad. Romance is one of the most entertaining genres since Pride and Prejudice, and I can’t imagine not reading a book without witty and endearing banter, hot and steamy scenes and a romantic happy ending.

When we romance writers continue being selfish, our books won’t find their way into readers’ hands. It stays on our shelves, collecting dust. If we want to be read, we need to learn to use our selfishness only in our writing, and never when we interact with others. We must be professional and treat everyone with fairness, the way we want ourselves to be treated. After all, we want to sell our products—our books.

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Procrastination Station

Keywords

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